Boosting Your 125cc Pit Bike’s Performance

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

There are several ways where you can acquire the maximum performance of your 125cc pit bike. Most motorcycle enthusiasts use several techniques when they break-in their new pit bike. Others just go with simple upgrades for their bike while hardcore racers do a maximum upgrade of their bike to take their bikes performance to maximum heights. This is a crucial step for professional racers so that they can compete against the ample power and speed of their opponent. Here are some simple and some major ways of boosting your 125cc pit bikes performance level.

When you want to acquire the maximum performance of your 125cc pit bike, then start at the beginning. After you purchase your bike it is very important that you break it in. This is so your bike will not easily break down after a few months of use and so that you can get your bikes maximum performance.

There are two ways of breaking in your bike. There’s the “Heat Cycling” method where you put your bike in neutral gear and let your engine run idle for 10 minutes until your engine heats up. Then turn your engine off and let it cool then do it again for another 10 minutes. Do this three to four times then ride your bike and let your gas run out. After that fill her up again and you’re ready to go. The other one is breaking in your pit bike at the track. Before riding your bike onto the track, put it in neutral first and let it run idle for five minutes or until the engine heats up a bit. After that you can ride it on the track but go at a very slow pace. Increase your speed just a little bit after the first lap then a little bit more after the second lap. Then ride it until it runs out of gas, fill it up again and your bike is good to go.

Enthusiasts boost their 125cc pit bike’s performance by utilizing the break in techniques. Others however upgrade some parts of the bike just so they can add a little bit more horsepower to their bike. Some install air filters and others has a certain type of mix for their oil so that they can have a better burn at the engine.

Professional racers on the other hand already have a bike prepared for them that offers more than enough performance boost so that they are able to compete with their opponents on the track with ease. Their bikes already had a break in and already underwent a rigorous upgrade by their mechanic. Changing parts inside the bikes engine and upgrading parts that will boost the power of the vehicle. They would most likely install a bore up kit, change the oil with their own mixture, install better shock absorbers, change the carburetor, and install an air filter. These are considered as major upgrades but are also called competition grade bikes. Bikes that are suitable for professional pit bike racers.

How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she’s so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is – faint heart, never won fair lady.

The first step in the heart-winning exercise for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don’t have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl’s attention. Be unique, that’s all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently – indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language – obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits – don’t drink or smoke like any other loser.

Let her fall in love gradually. Romance is an important part of falling in love. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was ‘Yours Secret Admirer.’ The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, “Hallo Secret Admirer.” So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me in the romantic manner.

Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you’ll get to know what she’s into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. I and my College steady were to break some time later but to date, we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.

A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don’t hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she’ll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don’ts of life. Don’t forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.

Make the girl feel special; because she’s someone’s friend – your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.

In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she’s your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.

Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go ‘my my’ and her heart will sing your name all the year round.

You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl’s interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?

Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o’clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can’t sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me.

No matter how many dates you take her, don’t make any elbow – exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don’t kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.

The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can’t have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she’s actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she’ll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you’ll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you’ll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.

Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.

The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.

I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!

Getting a Body Piercing – What to Expect

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

Here’s the scenario: you’ve done your research, you’ve considered your lifestyle, and you are finally ready to get a body piercing. The first trip to a piercing parlor can be a nerve-racking experience, but you can minimize your stress if you understand what to expect during your piercing experience.

Always go to a professional piercing parlor. Never get pierced in malls or chain stores. If you follow these two maxims, you’ll decrease your chances of infection immensely. Scout the piercing parlors in your general vicinity – and remember, just because you walk into a piercing parlor doesn’t mean you have to get pierced there right away. If you know anyone who has received a body piercing from a particular parlor, inquire about their experiences.

While the internet is also a valuable resource in determining which parlor is right for you, nothing beats walking into a piercing place and getting a feel for the environment. While every parlor is different, some aspects to ensure a successful piercing are universal. You want to make sure the piercing parlor is well lit, so that the experts can see what they are doing; you also want to make sure that the professionals use disposable needles, autoclave disinfecting for their non-disposable tools, latex gloves (or some sort of disposable gloves, if you are allergic to latex), and it is perfectly fine to ask a person that works there for a step-by-step explanation of their sterilization process.

In addition to learning about each piercer method for ensuring sterilization, looking at the overall cleanliness of the store is also an important factory. A piercing parlor that is dingy and dirty could be an indication of how they treat their jewelry and tools. Much like a doctors office is usually sparkling clean, a professional piercing studio should have the same environment.

Feel free to converse with the piercers that work there. If the professionals put you at ease, answer your questions to your satisfaction, and are patient and unhurried when talking with you…congratulations! You just may have come upon the right piercing studio for you. If piercers don’t give you the time of day, or are rude and snobby, it’s perfectly reasonable to leave the store and not get pierced there. Getting pierced is a somewhat vulnerable experience, so you want to be comfortable for the best results.

If you are under a certain age (and the age depends on where you live), you may need your parent or guardian to accompany you to the piercing studio. Parental consent is usually only valid when the parental consent form is signed in front of the piercers. If you are over the designated age limit, you can visit piercing parlors whenever their business is open.

When you’ve found the place where you want to get pierced, you may or may not need to schedule an appointment. Most piercing places accept walk-ins, but sometimes arranging a specified time makes the whole process go quicker.

Now, it varies from one parlor to the next, but generally speaking, you will pick out your jewelry and pay before you get pierced. The total amount you will owe depends on two things. First, you will pay for the jewelry, and second, you will pay for the piercing site (the spot on your body getting pierced). For example, a helix piercing with a captive bead ring will usually cost less than a navel piercing with a curved barbell.

When it is time to get pierced, you will be led to either a separate room or area. The chair you will lie or sit on strongly resembles a dentists chair. Your piercer will clean the area about to get pierced with antiseptic, mark where he/she thinks the piercing will look best (you get to okay or rearrange it if you want), and using completely sterile gloves, needle, and jewelry, give you a new piercing. It’s usually okay to bring someone with you into the room (but ask your piercer first), and it’s okay to make some small chit-chat. A good piercer wants you to be comfortable; although the actual piercing (that is, the needle going through the skin and subsequent jewelry placement) takes seconds, the entire experience at the piercing studio can take anywhere from ten to thirty minutes. You may be nervous right before the needle penetrates the skin, but take comfort in the fact that the pain imagined is always worse than the pain experienced.

After the piercing has commenced, and if you feel like the piercer did a good job, it’s very reasonable to tip the piercer (of course, in some countries, tipping does not apply). Your piercer may suggest some aftercare cleaning solution, which is very useful and inexpensive. Listen closely to the aftercare procedures the piercing professional advises you to follow. If you feel light-headed, giddy, or strangely happy after the piercing, it’s because of the adrenaline and endorphins (two feel-good hormones) your body releases. However, if you feel dizzy, weak, or have trouble breathing, just sit in the chair until you calm down and those feelings pass.

Getting pierced in a professional environment is truly the best way to get body modifications and decorations. In a nutshell, you want a clean and sterile environment and you want your piercers to be trained, sterile, and friendly. Good luck finding a piercing studio that is right for you, and enjoy your new piercing(s)!

The Steps To Making Your Ex Boyfriend Interested In You Once Again

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

There are many steps to making your ex boyfriend interested in you again, so much so that it is sometimes difficult to know where to start. A lot of it has to do with using your own common sense and realizing what is attractive to men. Women are very different creatures to men and therefore you cannot rely on the same techniques for getting your ex back. Men are simple creatures and once you begin to understand this you will be steps ahead in your plan to get him back.

You are not alone in your plight. Thousands of people have been in the same position as you are now and have managed to get their ex boyfriends back. You probably feel that the universe has come crashing down at your feet and all hope is lost of ever making him love you again. I know it might seem an impossible situation right now but thousands of women have been in your shoes and it doesn’t invariably mean the end. For starters, are you aware it’s entirely possible to discover how to make a man want you back? Much like everything else, it’s a technique that can be taught. It also means that you have to put in some effort on your part to be successful.

Forget about becoming a dominatrix. Women who try to be too sexy and hard to handle can also turn off most men as they do not know how to handle them. You do not want to intimidate him and become a completely different person, he will only worry about what happened to you. You still have to the a person that he recognizes so that it reminds him about who he first fell in love with. It is individuality that creates a lasting impression for men so forget about trying to be someone you are not. He loved you for a reason, just find it again and work on it.

No man likes a needy woman and you must keep this in mind the next time you speak to him. Emotions are very difficult for men to deal with so you must think twice before you beg him to come back. You do not want any man to be with you out of pity, this is no kind of relationship and you will both only end up resenting each other.

The key here is to remain calm and in control of your feelings at all times. Do not let him see that you are in pieces over the break up or that you miss him. Instead it is a valuable tip to make him think that you are enjoying the single life and that you are busy. He will only be attracted to you if you are interesting and achieving things, not if he thinks you are sitting around pining for him. If you have to lie to him to convince him that you are fine, then you should. Do not go over the top though, it will become painfully obvious that you are trying to impress him and it will backfire on you.

To get him to become interested in you again there are numerous things that you can do. The best thing to do is become interested in things yourself so that you are a well rounded person with lots to talk about. Make yourself fun to be around by getting yourself out with friends and having a good time. He will start to see that you are positive and engaging again and change his mind about you.

It doesn’t stop here however. You will probably be able to think of so many more things yourself to get him to want you back and be attracted to you again. You know him best and exactly what he likes, so get on your thinking cap girl and make him see how special you really are.

I hope that you have learned some of the ways that you can attract him back to you again. There are several more things you must do in order to get him back, it’s all just a matter of learning and applying the techniques and using your common sense. Find out more about the next steps below.

The Joy of Tantric Massage

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

Originating in what is now modern India; Tantra is at least 5000-7000 or more years old, pre-dating and influencing both Hinduism and Buddhism.

Many religions believe you can have either physical pleasure or spiritual growth, but not both.

Tantra flatly disagrees, believing that physical and sensual pleasure are themselves the key to our spiritual growth; without one, you can’t have the other.

Tantrics believe working on our bodies can clear them of accumulated rubbish, enabling healing and re-integration with the surrounding spirit energy. Central to Tantra is its belief in this spirit or energy force, and that the universe – and us individually – are all filled with the same energy. Crucially, Tantrics believe that any repression of this energy leaves us unbalanced and damaged.

Tantra rejects the repressive, moralistic, self-denying code of living propounded by many religions, where our body’s sexual or sensual needs are met with guilt, more guilt, repression, denial and punishment. Where, when attention is paid to bodily needs, it’s usually aimed at avoidance, for example of disease or pregnancy. Little attention is paid to the development and expansion of our body’s sensuality; no teaching us how to embrace it, value it.

Tantrics believe that to grow as complete beings, blockages need clearing from both our physical and psychic systems. Most people accept the idea of physical systems. We all know we have a Liver, Heart, and Stomach for example – but psychic systems? Controversial – but nevertheless, most major religions, do believe that we are more than our physical body.

Tantrics believe that a powerful spirit energy, lives in our Base Chakra, situated between our legs. Once released, it rises through our system. If dormant, our knowledge is limited; aroused it allows the natural spiritual growth we should be experiencing.

This vital energy- Kundalini – is ‘fed’ along channels called Meridians. Any obstruction lessens energy flow, much as a kinked hose-pipe produces only a reduced water supply.

Many believe that one manifestation of the ‘Life Energy’ is the Aura. Whether it is actually an aura, with its quasi-religious overtones or ‘only’ electricity’ is, hotly debated. Some recent scientific research however confirms a generalised electromagnetic current around our body and that all tissue and each individual organ, such as the Heart and the Brain also generates an individual impulse. Is there a link between this comparatively recent research and the Tantric belief in the Chakra system – spinning wheels of energy, spiralling throughout our body, where the various aspects and levels of our ‘being’ are merged? When these energy centres function properly, Tantrics believe, so do we. As with the Meridians, however, factors such as lifestyle, conditioning, guilt, diet, prevent them from fully functioning. Once they’re ‘clogged’ we become sluggish, under-performing.

Tantrics, and some modern therapies, believe we have many such blockages and that trauma, such as remembered grief, pain, embarrassment, physical or emotional abuse, remains stored in our body. The effects of this early blocking continue throughout our life, reducing our well-being, our energy; we may, perhaps, constrict our throats because of childhood conditioning to ‘don’t cry,’ or ‘don’t shout’. Our pelvis may be rigid through our attempts to stifle our genital urges. Our anal sphincter may have tightened, and remain tight as the result of our early – and long forgotten- attempts to repress anger.

The Massage

Believing our body is utterly central to our well-being; Tantrics use many techniques to ‘repair’ it. One such is massage, it’s believed that massage and Tantric techniques can help break down blockages and flush them out, – that the massage can heal us.

Tantric massage uses many techniques familiar in other massages, so what differentiates it from other forms of massage?

I would suggest five things;

i) Therapeutic masseurs focus on direct physical benefits; sensualists see pleasure as an end in itself. Tantrics go further, believing that the pleasure is the gateway to spirituality – the means to an end.

i) In Tantra we give without seeking a return; receive without feeling we have to reciprocate.

ii) It is a way of giving and receiving sensual pleasure without needing to perform in any sexual way.

iv) No externally imposed barriers exist as to where, what and how to touch. The only barriers are those that we, as responsible adults have decided will be there. If the agreement allows exploration of the whole of your partner‘s body, they -and you -may find new, totally unexpected, areas of enjoyment. Many Westerners tend to be very genitally orientated. We overlook the other 95% of our body, much of which is capable of giving differing but equally exquisite responses. In this way, Tantra continues the liberation many feel when they realise that touch is both natural and mutually enriching.

v) There are techniques for both breathing and massaging particular areas of the body, such as the Chakras or genitals that are specific to Tantra, or the Chinese Tao.

Tantra is a letting go, a sensual journey that can lead to astounding joy. Striving to be open and honest, it is an uplifting but disciplined approach to the body. It permits – encourages – a freedom to experience, experiment, enjoy and openly delight in our body in a way that we in the West can find in turns, alarming, exhilarating, shaming and – perhaps – ultimately liberating. The results of this openness, allied to it’s emphasis on the journey not the destination being important can be astounding for those used to concentrating on the journey’s end ( i.e. ejaculation for the man which it discourages, and, if she’s lucky, orgasm for the woman). It allows time for us to focus on our partner and their body’s varied sensations. Tantra has, few, if any, taboos, provided -and it is a big proviso – that whatever is done is done with mutual respect and unforced agreement. Power, coercion, emotional blackmail or exploitation is not acceptable in Tantra…

For all the above reasons Tantra is ideally suited to a massage.

I Am Not Afraid of Things That Scare Me

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

When someone tells us that he or she are afraid, the natural assumption is that that person is immobilized and cannot act. Fear has a way of stopping us dead in our tracks. Something pushes the panic button, and the process stops. The sad part is that the result is not merely a stop, but a “reversing,” as all forward movement comes to a halt and we retreat to a place of security and comfort.

For the moment this might satisfy us, but eventually we are once again faced with the same fear. For what is in darkness always comes to light. The energy we expend pushing this feeling away from us ultimately becomes the force that pulls it back.

But what if we changed the paradigm of fear? What if instead of shutting the door on fear, we welcomed the ominous feeling as a messenger of change, heralding the possibility of newfound happiness? What if feeling the feeling were actually different from reacting to the feeling?

To move through fear to the other side, first, we must be brave enough to feel afraid. But that is not enough. We need to feel what scares us, while at the same time disciplining ourselves into not reacting in the old familiar way. This takes tremendous courage and willpower and is a perfect place to exert one’s will. If we can succeed in changing our hard-wired way of responding, we will be able to experience fear from a new vantage point.

Holding two seemingly contradictory feelings at the same time is the key to navigating this crucial juncture. We stay in touch with the feeling of fear and experience it as a vital insight into our psyche. This look shows us what we need to work on, where we need to focus our attention. Looking at fear from this perspective changes everything.

Rather than move away from things that scare us we now move toward them. Inherent in this feeling that frightens us is the possibility of freedom, and to enjoy the paradox is to see to the heart of things. The juxtaposition of these feelings forms a gestalt that allows us to see fear as a beacon that lights the way to the understanding of one’s Self. Most important, we welcome the opportunity to go deeper.

As we embrace the feeling and relish the chance for change, things begin to shift. As long as we are able to exist in a state of feeling that has no definitive answers, we break the boundaries of a constrained life. And because we know things do not disappear immediately, we surrender to the incremental process of being real moment by moment.

Simply by staying put and welcoming an uncensored life, we reclaim our right to joy.

Chapter 42 from Reality Works- Let It Happen Copyright © 2002 Chandra Alexander

Counseling With A Spiritual Influence

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

There is much research today that indicates that individual and family counseling is on the rise. Be it a sign of difficult economic times, or an increase in life stressors (parenting, finances, health concerns), people are heading to the counseling office in an attempt to relieve distress and regain an inner peace. Counselors who incorporate spirituality into their treatment plans, can often provide clients with an additional support system that could produce some positive results.

Spirituality can be defined in many different ways. For some, spirituality is focused on God, and a biblical theme. With this type of spirituality, counseling is reinforced with biblical references that can be used as a life guide so to speak. Comparing current life struggles to those of biblical leaders who had similar issues, provides hope and courage for many clients, who might otherwise remain in limbo.

God focus, is another form of spirituality that can be incorporated into the counseling treatment plan. When some clients believe they are a product of an almighty God, they believe that they can draw on energy from their source (God), who aids in the healing process. When we are in tune with God, nature, friends, and ourselves, we are more or less being spiritual.

Spirituality has been defined by many as a means by which we find our “inner self”. Connecting to their “inner most being”, is a common term used by clients. At times, this can lead to finding an inner peace, that many had never experienced before. The skilled counselor will incorporate such things as meditation, prayer, and relaxation exercises to help the client achieve a state of mind that is void of clutter and noise. Feeling deeply “connected” to others is another effect of spirituality, which can help in healing many strained interpersonal relationships.

Spirituality is unique, and cannot be examined by utilizing scientific methods. Spirituality involves deeply held personal, and very subjective life experiences that when implemented into the clients treatment plan, can reveal some inner struggles that might require intervention. Resolution of some of these issues can be accomplished if the therapist is well versed in specific forms of therapy (i.e. cognitive behavioral therapy), that can address many of the distorted thoughts that clients struggle with.

Spirituality offers therapists another option to utilize in their treatment plan. The effective therapist will “tailor make” the intervention to fit the particular client. Being open to the different interpretations of spirituality, will allow the clinician a degree of flexibility when intervening, and subsequently afford a higher level of care for the client in distress.

Secrets to 3 Common Objections

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

Being a typical bloke, I’m terrible at multitasking, never ask for directions when lost in the car and would never, under any circumstances, ask for assistance in a store.

Have you ever been in a store browsing and a sales assistant comes up to you unannounced “can I help you Sir?” When this happens to me I instinctively say “no thanks, just looking” even if I actually do need some help.  This instinctive knee-jerk reaction is commonplace when selling, particularly on the phone.

The golden rule with handling knee-jerk reservations, is to appreciate that most customers will have a negative initial reaction to a sales call. You’ve interrupted them, they probably weren’t expecting you and possibly don’t want to speak with you, so they’ll quickly come up with a reason to get you off the phone. It’s natural; you’d do the same wouldn’t you?

If you’re sure of the value you can provide, then plan a response to the common objections you’ll get.  I stress this, plan your approach, don’t can it or sound as though you’re reading off a script.  Yuk.

Typical knee-jerk reactions are “I wouldn’t be interested right now” and “I need to think about it” or “I already have that covered”

Remember they just want to get rid of you, these are knee-jerk reactions. Deal with the initial retort and you could be on a roll.

I wouldn’t be interested right now

You need to come back on this one, “I know you must get a lot of calls on this and this must be tiring…let me just say Bob, that this call will honestly make a difference to you”

Then come back with some more value that you can provide.

I need to think about it

This is a classic because it’s hiding something. We need to isolate what that is. Customers use this when they’re busy and want you to go away but they don’t want to tell you directly.

Be open with them “Bob, I see…however, when I say that to people, I normally mean one of three things.  1. I’m not going to do anything here, 2. I like the idea but I have no budget or 3. I like the idea but I see some problems. Bob, do you mind me asking which one are you?”

I already have that covered.

“That’s great Bob and I’m glad you have this covered. But if you ever have a need to compare with another supplier, can I ask that you consider me? Bob, before I go…what might be happening for you to be considering someone different?”

Knee-jerk reactions will be the death of me. Perhaps, one day, I might stop doing the blokey thing and actually ask for help in a store, but then I might even ask for directions when I’m lost in the car or even learn to multitask. Gulp!

When a Plane Ride is Necessary to See Your Honey – Long-Distance Relationships

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

Long distance relationships (LDR) are not for the weak at heart, not only that, they can also be expensive. Even if two people only live 4 hours a part, it gets expensive running back and forth, even if you take turns. Long distance relationships have a whole new dimension to them then a traditional relationship and one thing they can not survive with out is trust and communication, if either is lacking the relationship will never make it.

There are a couple reasons people can find themselves in a long distance relationship:

Work takes on of the partners away. With the war, many couples have been separated for long periods of time to where they have had to rely on their foundation they have built in their relationship to pull them through their absence. If the foundation is shaky, the relationship can be at risk. That is why it is so important to have a strong level of trust in your partner and excellent communication skills. You never know what may separate you.

Online dating sites have created many long distance relationships.

Pre-established relationships that are disconnected through work or other reasons that finds them in a long distance relationship may be able to benefit from some of these tips. However, this article is more directed towards the population that are in new relationships that are long distance out of choice by either chance encounters or meeting on an online dating site.

Long distance relationships by choice are becoming a common relationship. It is estimated that 4.4 million college age people and 3.5 million dating couples are in long distant relationships. That is not counting married couples that are separated do to work or war. The online dating sites continue to add to these numbers daily as people are easily connected to people who live cities, to states, to countries apart from one another. Break up rates in long distant couples is not that much greater then amongst couples that live in close proximity with one another or even together. Although LDRs have to work at their relationship in a different manner then traditional relationships, over all they are no less satisfied with the relationship other then the distance.

Something you need to consider if you are thinking about entering a long distance relationship is if you are capable of handling the extra commitment and work it requires. If you are recently in a LDR and have already have had thoughts of straying or obsessive thoughts that your partner is cheating you are not cut out for the long distance lifestyle. Here are some tips that will help in your dating ventures as well as maintenance of a long distance relationship.

Have an end in sight.

When people are separated by work or war, they have the advantage of knowing approximately how long the separation will be. This gives them something tangible to look forward to and calms fears of never being together. Therefore, give yourself the same advantage. Before getting to deep into the relationship, make a time line of how the relationship would ideally work out. Is the other person finishing their degree and does not choose to leave their current university? Take into accounts what things are happening in each other’s lives and make a reasonable time line of when the separation is going to end and you will be united.

Think about your willingness to relocate. If you have no intentions on relocating, make sure to make that clear early on in the relationship. You partner may feel the same way and you are then at a stalemate and need to make a decision to continue or call it quits.

Make time to communicate

In long distance relationship, communication levels need to be increased drastically compared to traditional relationships. You are wise to make sure you have the same cell phone carriers or a really good long distance phone plan. Schedule your communication so each partner knows when the next time will be when he or she will hear from you. This takes some of the worry out of the equation. The more you talk the less the distance will appear. Mark dates and times a month in advance with each other. It gives you both parties a tangible thing to look forward to. If for some reason you are not going to be able to call on a scheduled time, let the partner know in advance. Do not just blow it off as if it does not matter. Always think, would you want the same done to you?

Physical visits

Just like the phone communication, schedule physical visits in advance, the more the better, but no less then once every six months. Depending on the amount of distance between the couple will play a factor in the frequency of visits. It can get very expensive traveling all the time. However, in addition to scheduling physical visits, schedule mini vacations like a traditional relationship would have. This continues to help the relationship grow and stay fresh.

Trust

Trust can be an issue in any relationship, however if you already have trust issues, long distance is not for you. It takes a blind trust in a sense to be able to handle LDRs. You do not have the luxury of seeing this person daily nor can you talk to them every night the entire night through. You have to be willing to give a level of trust that is even deeper then that in a traditional relationship. Statistics show that people e who are in LDR do not cheat any more then a traditional relationship, however, they do have a tendency to worry about it more which can bring problems of their own in the relationship. A person can actually begin to believe their partner is cheating purely from worry alone and by no indication from the other partner that there is anything wrong.

Intimacy

In a long distance relationship, intimacy takes on a completely new meaning. You have to learn to focus on what you have at your disposal rather then what you don’t have. LDRs need to communicate more and in a variety of ways to stimulate as many senses as possible. Hand written letters, emails, phone call, video chats, tape-recorded messages, pictures, and tokens of love are all great ways to improve a distant intimacy. People in LDR need to communicate more there day to day activities, plans, how their day went, the small details of their life as well as the bigger ones to help the couples feel a part of their everyday living and an important part of each other’s life.

Isolation

It is easy for people in LDR to begin to isolate themselves from others and only focus strictly on work to avoid uncomfortable situations while out in public. They appear to be physically single; however, they are not single emotionally. Although LDR are becoming more acceptable as a alternative dating arrangement, it is not yet seen by all as a real relationship which leads the person in a LDR having to re-explain their position repeatedly. Rather then always having to feel the need to defend their LDR and the reality of their love they simply avoid any situations that may bring up question. However, this is very unhealthy. People in long distance relationships still need to have a support circle with whom they can feel safe to discuss their relationship with as well as socialize with other people.

Quality of Relationship

Most people in LDR measure the success of their relationship based off their last physical encounter rather then the relationship as a whole. If the last visit went poorly, they may sit back with worries until the next visit. Phone conversations in the mid term avoid discussing how or why the last visit did not go well as others so the moment is not ruined. This is another aspect where long distance relationships can fail. Although they may have increase communication, they need to discuss the good and the bad and work through them regardless if they are sitting next to each other. They cannot allow things to fester up until the next visit and expect it to go well, or try to hide the negative feelings they have been dealing with since the last visit. Although the communication needs to be at an increased level in LDR, it needs to be of increased quality as well.

Sex

Over all, couples with mutual commitment to a LDR report having a satisfying sex relationship. When they do get to see each other physically, the sex is always fresh, new and exciting, much like honeymooning. The downside of this can be that the expectation level of their sex life remaining at status quo after uniting is unrealistic and seldom happens which can lead to problems and eventual break in the relationship. Couples substitute the physical connection part of sex while away through phone sex, erotic emails, and pictures. If you are not comfortable with “phone sex” and/or self-pleasure, you may want to reconsider a long distance relationship

Long distance relationship can work, they just take a different level of commitment, trust, and the couple must have excellent communication skills to make one work.

5 Quick Ways to Find Your Next Date

November 22nd, 2011 | olegxivew

Overwhelmed with family, school, work and volunteer obligations, woman are turning to online dating or speed-dating services to do a little of their homework for them. However, you do not have to anymore.

Here are five easy things to look for whether at work, the grocery store, the local coffee shop or bookstore to locate you next date during your spare seconds–minus the fees.

1. Allows women to enter/exit the elevator first.

It may not seem like a big deal to most, but if a man is running late for a meeting yet still takes the time to let a lady on or off the elevator first, he is showing respect and appreciation.

2. Treats the janitor, waiter and cashier with respect.

How a person treats those who may not directly affect their livelihood, can tell you how he will treat you when a possible argument occurs in the future.

3. Offers you the last piece of pie or final copy of a best-selling book.

He is considerate and thoughtful. If you both reach for the item at the same time and he takes the last dessert or book without so much as a pause, he may be selfish.

4. Gives up his seat on the crowded commuter train to an elderly person.

Besides good manners, this man is considerate, protective, attentive and concerned for the well-being of others.

5. Greets/acknowledges those around him (when appropriate).

By acknowledging that others exist, he is respectful of others and not completely self-centered.

Determining if a guy is worth your time is all about his actions – what he DOES versus what he SAYS.

Time is a precious commodity many don’t have the luxury of wasting. Why spend the next month dating someone who turns out to be egotistical, selfish and rude? Why pass on a potential date that fails to use the “right words” during your two-minutes at a speed-dating event. If you take the time to look for just five actions, you can “gift” your time to a better man.